Who Is a Real Gentleman? According to the Sappurisa Sutta. | Calm Mind

Who Is a Real Gentleman? According to the Sappurisa Sutta.

Introduction

    In today’s world, identifying a true gentleman or a genuine person can be challenging. Many people pretend to be kind and virtuous but lack the true qualities of an honorable person. Fortunately, the Buddha provided clear guidelines in the Sappurisa Sutta (The Discourse on the True Person) to help us distinguish a true individual from a false one.

This discourse not only teaches us how to recognize a true person but also encourages us to self-reflect: Am I a true person? If we embody the qualities mentioned in this sutta, we can truly call ourselves a real gentleman or lady. Let’s explore these teachings and understand what it truly means to be a genuine and honorable person.

What is the Sappurisa Sutta?

The Sappurisa Sutta, found in the Anguttara Nikaya (Numbered Discourses 4.73), explains the four qualities that distinguish a true person (Sappurisa) from a false person (Asappurisa). This discourse serves as a guide to developing integrity, honesty, and moral behavior in everyday life.

The Characteristics of a False Person (Asappurisa)

According to the Buddha, a false person can be identified by these four qualities:

1. Speaks ill of others unnecessarily – A false person criticizes others even when not asked. When questioned, they provide full details about another’s flaws without omission.

2. Fails to praise others sincerely – They do not speak well of others even when asked. If required to do so, they leave out many details, making their praise incomplete and insincere.

3. Avoids self-criticism – A false person does not admit their own faults. If questioned about their shortcomings, they only mention selective details, hiding many aspects.

4. Boasts about themselves excessively – They speak highly of themselves without being asked. When questioned, they provide full details about their own virtues, ensuring nothing is left unsaid.

A person exhibiting these behaviors is considered dishonest, untrustworthy, and insincere.

The Characteristics of a True Person (Sappurisa)

In contrast, a true person possesses the following four qualities:

1. Avoids unnecessary criticism – A true person does not speak ill of others without reason. Even when required, they leave out unnecessary details, ensuring their words are measured and fair.

2. Praises others genuinely – They appreciate and acknowledge the good in others, even without being prompted. When questioned, they provide full details, ensuring fairness and completeness.

3. Admits personal flaws honestly – A true person acknowledges their mistakes and shortcomings, even if not asked. When questioned, they give a full and honest account.

4. Does not boast excessively – A true person does not speak about their virtues unless asked. Even when questioned, they provide only necessary details without exaggeration.

A person with these qualities is trustworthy, wise, and genuinely respectable a true gentleman or lady in the Buddhist sense.

Applying These Teachings in Daily Life

Understanding these qualities is not enough. We must apply them in our daily interactions to determine whether we are true individuals. Ask yourself:

• Do I unnecessarily criticize others?
• Do I appreciate and praise people sincerely?
• Am I honest about my flaws?
• Do I avoid boasting about myself?

By reflecting on these questions and improving where needed, we can cultivate the qualities of a Sappurisa and become a genuine person in both thought and action.

Sappurisa Sutta (The Discourse on the True Person)

• Numbered Discourses 4.73
• 8. Unfailing

A True Person

“Mendicants, an untrue person can be known by four qualities. What four?

To start with, an untrue person speaks ill of another even when not asked, let alone when asked. But when summoned for questioning they speak ill of another in full detail, not leaving anything out. That’s how to know that this is an untrue person.

Furthermore, an untrue person doesn’t speak well of another even when asked, let alone when not asked. But when summoned for questioning they speak well of another without giving the full details, leaving many things out. That’s how to know that this is an untrue person.

Furthermore, an untrue person doesn’t speak ill of themselves even when asked, let alone when not asked. But when summoned for questioning they speak ill of themselves without giving the full details, leaving many things out. That’s how to know that this is an untrue person.

Furthermore, an untrue person speaks well of themselves even when not asked, let alone when asked. But when summoned for questioning they speak well of themselves in full detail, not leaving anything out. That’s how to know that this is an untrue person. An untrue person can be known by these four qualities.

A true person can be known by four qualities. What four?

To start with, a true person doesn’t speak ill of another even when asked, let alone when not asked. But when summoned for questioning they speak ill of another without giving the full details, leaving many things out. That’s how to know that this is a true person.

Furthermore, a true person speaks well of another even when not asked, let alone when asked. But when summoned for questioning they speak well of another in full detail, not leaving anything out. That’s how to know that this is a true person.

Furthermore, a true person speaks ill of themselves even when not asked, let alone when asked. But when led on by questions they speak ill of themselves in full detail, not leaving anything out. That’s how to know that this is a true person.

Furthermore, a true person doesn’t speak well of themselves even when asked, let alone when not asked. But when summoned for questioning they speak well of themselves without giving the full details, leaving many things out. That’s how to know that this is a true person. A true person can be known by these four qualities.

It’s like a bride on the day or night she’s first brought to her husband’s home. Right away she sets up a keen sense of conscience and prudence for her mother and father in law, her husband, and even the bondservants, workers, and staff. But after some time, because of living together and familiarity, she’ll even say to her mother and father in law, or to her husband: ‘Go away! What would you know?’ In the same way, on the day or night a mendicant first goes forth from the lay life to homelessness, right away they set up a keen sense of conscience and prudence for the monks, nuns, laymen, and laywomen, and even the monastery workers and novices. But after some time, because of living together and familiarity, they’ll even say to their tutor or mentor: ‘Go away! What would you know?’

So you should train like this: ‘We will live with hearts like that of a newly wedded bride.’ That’s how you should train.”

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Final Thoughts: Becoming a True Gentleman or Lady

A real gentleman or lady is not defined by external appearance, wealth, or social status but by inner qualities of honesty, humility, and sincerity. By following the teachings of the Sappurisa Sutta, we can transform ourselves into authentic individuals who inspire trust and respect.

The path to becoming a true person is a lifelong journey of self-reflection and improvement. Let’s strive to cultivate these noble qualities and become beacons of wisdom and integrity in society.

FAQs

1. Can anyone become a true person according to the Sappurisa Sutta?

Yes! Anyone who sincerely practices these qualities avoiding unnecessary criticism, praising genuinely, admitting flaws, and staying humble can become a true person.

2. How can I identify a false person in daily life?

A false person frequently criticizes others, avoids praising them, hides their own mistakes, and boasts excessively about themselves.

3. Is being a true person only important in Buddhism?

No, these qualities are universally valued in all cultures and religions. Being honest, humble, and sincere is essential for good relationships and moral living.

4. How can I develop the qualities of a true person?

Practice mindfulness, reflect on your words and actions, and consciously avoid negative speech patterns. Surround yourself with wise and truthful individuals.

5. Why is the analogy of the newlywed bride included in the sutta?

The Buddha used this analogy to show how we should always maintain a high standard of behavior, just as a bride initially strives to impress her new family.

Namo Buddhaya!